Deťurence moje zlaté.
Neviem ako vy, ale tento svoj prvý blog na našom ALUMNI private blogu uverejňujem s obrovskou radosťou. Odkedy som opustil brány Kolégia, nemal som možnosť, ale hlavne silu dokopať sa k písaniu niečoho zmysluplného, tak ako som mal pocit, že sme to robili v KANe.
Preto je, s istou dávkou predstavivosti, pre mňa symbolické, že aj prvý výtvor z mojej novej školy, môžem "prečítať" aj svojim KAN kolegom.
Okrem iných textov som prišiel do styku aj s knihou Love and Responsibility od Karola Wojtylu. Je to brutálna kniha - akože fakt pecka. Pár riadkov o jednej téme, ktorá sa v knihe nachádza môžete teda nájsť nižšie.
Enjoy a teším sa na vaše vlastné príspevky alebo komentáre!
What is emotional and physical shame?
What is emotional and physical shamelessness?
Karol Wojtyla is in his book Love and Responsibility trying to show a proper meaning of love. Indeed he does not avoid practical aspect of this real notion of love and he also speaks about ways of behaving which parties who want to reach real love should follow.
Among other terms, which Karol Wojtyla uses to examine this topic, words shame and shamelessness have their place.
In the beginning author describes general characteristics of shame. Of course it is proper to speak only about human shame since other animals are able only to fear (174, 175). This is so because „phenomenon of shame arises when something which .. ought to be private .. becomes public“. But what is important in regards the topic of love is sexual shame which author derives from general definition.
Hence sexual „shame is a tendency .. to conceal sexual values sufficiently to prevent them from obscuring the value of person as such“. (187)
There are two forms of sexual shame : physical and emotional or shame of feelings. (187)
Karol Wojtyla also explains a state of a man when shame is absent – shamelessness. It also can have two forms : physical and emotional.
Physical shame(lessness) usually regards or tries to conceal sexual values of a person themselves. On the contrary emotional shame(lessness) deals 'only' with reactions or feelings which are connected to sexual values.
Then to feel (shame is emotion) physical shame generally saying means that it appears to me that my sexual values are seen by other people and that this 'nakedness' can result in particular actions of other people (internal or external). Object of these actions will be my personality that means that I will be used to reach particular end of another person – most likely pleasure. Shame allows me to hide my sexual values in order to protect my personality.
Physical shamelessness is opposite to this kind of approach. For example pretty woman will try to show her beautiful shapes of body to let men look on her and see in her possible mean to reach sexual pleasure.
Emotional shame deals with reactions on sexual values of other persons. When in case of physical shame the connection was kind of direct – that means an act was immediately followed by consequence – in case of emotional shame a step is added. It regards reactions and feelings of person1 which were arouse by sexual values of person2. To react „healthy“ in this case is to react in such a way that the reaction will not regard person2 as an object for use. For example if a man is sensualy effected by a dancing woman (although she does not know it) his reaction should not encourage her to continue in effecting him and to grasp her sexual values in order to use her. He should rather react in such a way that will make him unable to use her, for example to talk with her about her hobbies or whatever but he should not focus on her sexual values.
In any case (physical and emotional) one should remember that the other person has its own value that means that to degradade the other person for only particular use is not the proper approach.
Opposite to emotional shame is shamelessness of feelings. In example given above emotionally shameless man would give reaction which would show that he sees the dancing woman as a potential object to please his sexual appetite.
Karol Wojtyla says that in order to build a healthy relationship between man and woman shame is a necessary article.
Anyway, it is likely that everybody from his own experience can understand theory of shame which Karol Wojtyla is giving and it seems to me that in 'shame matters' he is not far away from truth.
Andrej Makovník, MMF 1